…David Luiz trains away from the rest of the first-team Chelsea squad and wants to move to Arsenal…
It’s the kind of dystopian future I dream of. A grey Bladerunner city with cars hovering above the structures as rain pours down. When I wake up, I fear I’ve moved to Manchester…but no, it’s just the Sky Sports Transfer Centre News Ticker.
Sideshow Bob is heading to Arsenal. It’s not the first time we’ve tried to sign him; this time, the Brazilian is painted as a disruptive miscreant. Which is just as well because we’re one light in that department at Arsenal.
The Chelsea PR machine, as the Heil has been rebranded, claims David Luiz, for it is he of whom I speak, has been at the centre of ‘training ground spats’. I wonder how he and Frank Lampard got on when they were players in the Chelsea squads of yesteryear?
A fee of £5m is being touted and for a 32-year-old centre-back, that’s par for the course. We should be able to knock that down if he really is the miscreant Chelsea claim. And given the history between the two, they will probably be more than happy to accommodate our parsimony to take another of their enfants terribles.
Is unduly negative to look at this in the same light as those wondrous Wenger signings, Mikael Silvestre and Sebastien Squillaci? My barometer in this situation is unimpressed. My sixteen-year-old son observed that after Upamecano and Rugani, Luiz was a stepdown. He wasn’t amused. Welcome to Arsenal, son, we’ve been here before.
Nor did he think the comedy value was worth signing him.
If anyone in the squad has a sense of humour, laying out rakes around the training ground is surely worth the cost. It’s got to be; it is in my mind if that’s any consolation.
You might have deduced that I don’t think this is a good signing. The centre-back won everything is a comment I saw last night. Shkodran Mustafi has a World Cup winner’s medal; I’ll leave that there.
To put it into context, Unai won’t be tying a rope around the back four with Luiz and Mustafi at the centre. If he does, it will take five minutes to turn their tether into a cat’s cradle.
On a positive note, the deal to bring Kieran Tierney to Arsenal is all but done. Only his injuries can stop it happening after he caught the sleeper down to London ahead of his medical.
The door marked ‘do one’ is still open. It slammed shut in Alex Iwobi’s face after Everton’s £30m bid for the Nigeria international was sent back to Goodison Park, express delivery. I have mixed feelings about the refusal.
The fee feels a little low for a player with his experience yet it’s probably not that far off the money we’re going to get when he eventually does leave. The caveat obviously is that a fee is not the value you place on him but what someone is willing to pay. David Luiz is probably worth more than £5m in cartoon rights alone.
According to the Sage of Salford, we’ve negotiated Chelsea down from £5m to £8m…
It’s reported that if we don’t sign Luiz first thing this morning, we’ll look at a “more expensive signing”. Or as you and I would put it, a better player.
Yes, you’re right, I am underwhelmed by Sideshow Bob.
Solid As A Rock
As ever, it would be great to be proved wrong. However, after watching Chelsea for a number of seasons, I’m not holding my breath. If Bob proves a success, a rock-solid centre-back at Arsenal, the Blues might wonder where that player was at Stamford Bridge?
Elsewhere, we’re not looking to sign anyone. Not even a glimmer, a scent, a sniff of another player. Three more weeks to sell players to improve the squad but to be honest, it will be a surprise other than those on the periphery of the squad.
Mesut Ozil to DC United? I doubt it will happen without some sort of subsidy from us, to be honest. I haven’t looked but we’d look for £40m+¹ from a European club which must be treble the $$$ record signing in the MLS. That’s my patronising look at transfer fees over the pond, anyway.
Others who may leave? Elneny is one, but Mustafi isn’t going anywhere. Although David Luiz keeps up our error-prone quota…
If Luiz signs, we’re in an interesting position. The defence in the first half at the Camp Nou was well-organised, almost un-modern-Arsenal-like. Can he organise a backline? Does he have that authority? Chelsea’s defence conceded 12 fewer goals than us last season so there was a degree of organisation as Luix played 36 times.
I’m trying to convince myself but not succeeding. This is Sideshow Bob, FFS…