Pepe Le Pew: Bid Stories Stink As Do Most Things About Arsenal Right Now

You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the Twilight Zone!

A monologue familiar to millions seems utterly apposite this morning. Has your beating heart stopped fluttering after last night?

For this who missed the supposed drama, RMC alleged – encouraged, it’s claimed by his “entourage” – that a bid of €80m flew in Lille’s direction for Nicholas Pepe. That this was almost double our much-reported transfer budget didn’t matter; some bright spark suggested Lacazette was the fall-guy and the story grew legs.

Separately, suggestions emerged that Enos dipped into his pocket to fund the purchase. This, despite everyone knowing he preferred mediocrity from his sporting empire so long as the investment grew. Which it will.

Sanity prevailed when Ornstein poo-pooed the idea. Quite why he felt the need to is beyond me? Perhaps the club felt it necessary as it was all getting out of hand, that the summer – already suffering from a bad start and a hopeless middle – didn’t need any external help in getting worse? Who knows?

Who cares?

Nihilism is this summer’s byword. Two seasons out of the Champions League, coupled with the January 2018 transfer splurge, turned our world upside down.

I don’t hold Sven entirely and solely responsible for the latter but his part in signing Aubameyang (success) is more than offset by pushing for Mkhitaryan (millstone) as the makeweight in Alexis’ sale.

Ivan and Arsène were at the heart, desperate to secure a top four place. There are parallels with Ferguson’s last season. The pair wanted to secure their legacy and embarked on a spending spree, irrespective of the squad imbalances it caused.

Inadequate

The result of it all is growing discontent among fans, ranging from anger to long-term fans disconnecting from the club.

Surely nobody is surprised by the latter? football changed with the money flowing through the game, which coincided with the Arsenal hierarchy sinking further into a mire of ineptitude irrespective of personnel.

It’s reached a point where we stroke our chins and declare “chinny-reck-on” at claims Arsenal submitted a £25m bid for Kieran Tierney. Those reports carry as much credibility as the claims Scotland Yard already identified the mole behind the Darroch cables leaks.

Ornstein has yet to confirm the bid but upping your initial £15m offer by £10m offers hope that realism is the order of the day in Highbury House. Raul, stop pratting around and get the deals done. Restore some optimism to this grey Arsenal world.

This is the preseason, for chrissakes, where optimism is at its peak before the dreary reality that we’re still crap sets in. Give us one slither of light before the darkness engulfs us.

Meanwhile, the squad is in Californ-i-a training. Emery found himself ridiculed for his attire while the forward line took the p*ss out of the defence during the session, reinforcing the feelings of inadequacy in every defender bar Shkodran Mustafi. “Now, you are all at my level…”

Thank god we have the Cricket World Cup as a distraction. Nobody can argue it hasn’t been an enthralling tournament. England stand on the cusp of glory but this is a nation which thrives on heroic failure. Can we really buck the trend today, particularly in a sport noted for its heroic failures?

Probably not.

‘til Tomorrow.

19 thoughts on “Pepe Le Pew: Bid Stories Stink As Do Most Things About Arsenal Right Now

  1. That we can’t even sign a player from Celtic after weeks of negotiation tells us how low we’ve sunk. Leicester can do deals, Wolves can do deals, Villa don’t seem to have a problem. All of these clubs are managing without the expensively assembled management team that AFC put into place amongst much fanfare to do exactly what they have spectacularly failed to do to date. Mustafi would be justified in thinking that he might be a bit crap at his job but compared to the ‘suits’ he’s an absolute world-beater.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  2. Talking about the Twilight Zone the club’s best hope to escape further ridicule over the next few weeks has nothing to do with football. Roll on Boris’s coronation and antics that will surely make AFC only the second biggest clowns in the country!!

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  3. The BBC have confirmed the £25m Tierney bid YW but the report isn’t by Ornstein, it’s Chris McLaughlin their Scottish sports news correspondent. Classic bit of negotiation there, low ball them, arse around for several weeks and then pay the original asking price! Nice.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  4. Jonnygunner,

    Learning from our owner JG, he can piss people off without being present or even uttering a single word. Master of the art.

    Would be glad to see Tierney signed though, have high hopes for him and should solve part of our defensive problems.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  5. nooners gooners,

    right after i posted i saw that rumor, indeed i had to pinch myself. that said i wouldnt be against moving on auba to fund it. with a more versatile back up if not eddie.

    whether it was incompetence or treachery i didnt expect the mess to be cleaned quickly given how many years they let the stains sit. some would argue a few still have a seat, speaking of which. where we stand, we should be at stage two of the rectification. we’re better on injuries, the coach has been here a season, question marks over players has reduced, the back room appear to be finally getting their ish together. resembling somewhat of a united front. and “weve got mesut ozil, weve got mesut ozil, na na na, nah” seriously though, hes quality if utilised correctly and we missed him for large portions last season.
    im looking at you emery, unfortunately, he appears to enjoy the cool dad look and i cant help but feel like he should stop that.

    im not to concerned with how they get the deals done as long as they’re done. tierney has been described as being similar to bells due to his speed with a bit more bite. perfect age also for us going forward when you look at what we have and are looking at. i just hope freddie can get those guys proper minutes with the europa potentially helping us long term more than we might think.

    peace.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  6. The last couple of posts are among the best I’ve read in the Arsenal world. Many thanks.

    Out of interest, regarding yesterday’s post, which one of the three do you think will be left at the end of next season?

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  7. One would think that when a bid is made, it is either accepted or rejected and everyone moves on. But one would be wrong. It seems every Arsenal move is an exercise in futility and frustration – even when a player does eventually sign. So, have Arsenal actually placed bids on anyone or has it all been invented by the knights of the keyboard? The latter would make the club seem less ridiculous except that this is, after all, the Twilight Zone where anything is possible and nothing is real.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  8. Personally, I hope we’re going to try not to rely quite so heavily on the fullbacks for our attacks this season. We were lucky last year that it mysteriously took other teams so long to suss it out. Wolves controlled us at home by simply shutting down this route. Having said that, I would strongly advocate bringing in a new left back like Tierney, cashing in on Kolasinac (who was free, has resale value, and we might actually get someone to buy) and praying Nacho can get his consistency back.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  9. Another superb post yogi

    Pepe Le Pew was always one of my favorites Looney Tunes characters. Foghorn Leghorn and Marvin the Martian definitely come in ahead of Pepe on my list but he certainly is one of the top 5. A couple days ago you had the picture from the movie Miracle on 34th Street and your cultural references are on a real hot streak

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  10. My favorite Looney Toons characters in order are
    1) Foghorn Leghorn 2) Marvin the Martian 3) Wile E. Coyote 4) Yosemite Sam 5) Pepe’ Le Pew.

    The truly amazing thing is Mel Blank was the voice for the almost the entire Looney Toons character cast. Easily the greatest voice actor in the history of the world.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.