Burnley Review: Live and Let Dyche

Arsenal 3 – 1 Burnley

When the remake of Das Boot becomes reality, the casting director could do worse than look at Unai Emery’s Arsenal. Or at least that is Sean Dyche’s opinion. Arsenal, he claimed, dive, dive, dive. No examples, just a wild accusations.

Match of the Day struggled to find examples, ending up showing Laurel and Hardy pratfalls from Lichtsteiner and Xhaka. No mention of Barnes grappling with Sokratis and the current fad of pulling Mateo Guendouzi’s hair. One booking for losing to two falls is hardly a fair return for his WWE audition.

Dyche failed miserably to emulate Stoke RFC and Blackeye Rovers. One can only surmise he was left so embarrassed by his players’ efforts that he felt compelled to blame Arsenal.

More on that later.

The game itself was largely forgettable. Perhaps that’s harsh; routine is a better word. Mesut Özil returned to the XI, captaining the side and justifying his selection within fifteen minutes. Ainsley Maitland-Niles flick created space for the German whose lofted pass was cut back from the byline by Kolasinac. Aubameyang made no mistake and Burnley’s plan to frustrate was out of the window.

Kolasinac had his best game for some time, robbed of the Man of the Match accolade by Sokratis’ willingness to meet Burnley’s sh*thousery with his own dark arts. He’s just a Greek Harry Potter.

Both sides had presentable opportunities before Aubameyang scored but for the first half, that was as good as it got Burnley. Arsenal probed but failed to breakthrough.

However, 18 games into the season, the halftime whistle blew with Arsenal in the lead. Anyone would think it was Christmas. It’s a weight off our shoulders, in much the same way the first goal in front of the North Bank mural.

Double or Quits

Bums were barely back on seats in the second half when Arsenal doubled their lead. A sweeping move ended with Aubameyang rifling the ball home, the power of the shot beating heart.

With Monreal departing due to injury in the first half, Lichtsteiner became the next makeshift centre-back. He isn’t as comfortable out of his full-back comfort zone and Barnes scoring for Burnley didn’t improve his mood.

We struggled to control the game, mainly because we weren’t surefooted in defence. Lucas Torreira couldn’t steady the ship despite his trademark tenacity; Burnley’s desperation for an equaliser just made them more agricultural in their approach.

Instead, Arsenal sealed three points late on. Mesut Özil shot deflected into the path of Alex Iwobi, who fired home. There are a couple of points here. Firstly, I don’t care if you thought Iwobi was offside; he wasn’t, that’s why the score is 3 – 1. And, Özil’s shot can be counted as an assist if you want. It doesn’t improve his recent performances one jot. He’s a great player when the mood takes him but it hasn’t on too many occasions.

Which brings us back to Dyche’s whinging. He and Barnes gave extraordinary post-match interviews. It’s one thing to use Luddite tactics and sh*thousery but when you get turned over by more intelligent coaches and footballers, at least have the balls to be dignified in defeat. If Dyche and his players are not going to do that, then the Premier League can’t be sot of them soon enough.

As for Barnes pulling Giendouzi’s hair, it wasn’t spotted by the match official so wouldn’t it be good if the no-mark ended up on the wrong end of retrospective action from the FA. T0sser.

‘Til Tomorrow.

27 thoughts on “Burnley Review: Live and Let Dyche

  1. Philmar says:

    ‘Montreal’ was injured?? Silly autocorrect.

  2. Dc Mike says:

    Barnes should have been off the pitch before he scored. The red mist clearly had descended and he frankly looked of the mind to cause real damage to another player.

    And diving? That rant is a couple of matches stale… Sean must be remembering things from his mid- week film sessions rather than the actual smack down that happened in person.

  3. Masterstroke says:

    Are you sure about Barnes pulling Guendouzi’s hair? I know he stamped on his chest, but I’m sure there was no hair pull although I had a dodgy stream, so may have missed it, but this is the first mention of it I’ve seen.

  4. C says:

    3 points and what a weird feeling about the game. We seemed in control but it all seemed not sure at times.

    Have to say, if you watch Ozil, he was clearly looking fpr the reverse pass to Iwobi, it just got deflected but Iwobi made sure it ended in the back of the net.

    Sead was MOTM for me. Lacazette is so vital to our success, even if he is not scoring he does literally everything else you want from a modern CF and his hold up and link up play is quality.

  5. C says:

    If you get a chance, go find the footage of Cork having a go at one of the players, Sead comes and pushes him then Cork turns around realizes it’s Sead and immediately hugs him to make up with him.

    Burnley tried but not this Arsenal.

  6. LSG says:

    Excellent stuff as ever Yogi. Somehow I doubt the FA will punish Barnes. I didn’t get to watch more than the highlights but it seemed Burnley had chances they doulfn’t Finish unlike Aubameyang. Not much to complain about for Dyche. Let’s hope they are relegated.

  7. Woolwich Freddie says:

    Great post. Kudos to whomsoever starts the first “He’s just a Greek Harry Potter” chant.
    Dyche’s whingeing was definitely undermined by his own negative tactics. Barnes should have been off before any of the alleged incidents occurred. I think there’s an element of aggregate feelings of injustice since they’ve suffered a number of late and somewhat questionable goals against us in recent seasons. Also, just a relegation- threatened manager feeling the pressure. Whatever. More concerned about the ever-declining standard of refereeing in general.

  8. C says:

    I wonder if Emery and Mislintat are considering bringing back Bielik from his loan if they can’t find the CB they want.

  9. YW says:

    Quite often these days, loan deals have a ‘no recall’ clauses so they may not be able to.

    Honestly, they should have identified their targets already. If we can’t land one on loan or if good enough, permanently, have we made any tangible progress at all?

  10. C says:


    There is a clause to recall and his current manager has spoken out in hopes of Arsenal not activating it.

    Your right, I’m sure they have though if things continue as they have. With the winter window tough to get a permanent, maybe we look for a loan deal.

    Actually, I wouldn’t mind using Ramsey as part of a package with Juve to get Benatia (older I think around 29 or 30) or Rugani(younger being one 23 or 24).

  11. Arsetralian says:


    If it was my money not sure I would be quite so keen
    We have kos, sok and mustafi now
    If he plays back 4 one on bench
    If he plays back 3 – monreal makes sense as LCB so still one on bench

    I predict we sign someone but not a CB!

  12. Blue Yonder says:


    I feel sure the brains trust have identified their January targets long since. If they haven’t, then what would be their point?
    Bielik has had some rave reviews over the past season or so and I would expect him to vie for a spot next season. If he doesn’t, because of another loan, then (again) what’s the point?
    Ditto Calum Chambers.

  13. Arsetralian says:

    Blue Yonder,

    We’ll be hoping Fulham make that deal permanent. He is not of the right stuff imo

  14. Arsetralian says:

    Yikes that 2-6 was unappealing
    I was pinning my hopes on a different result

    The way things are going that ridiculous winner may be the sign of Liverpool doing something amazing this season

    Can we repeat a performance there…

  15. C says:

    Blue Yonder,

    Chambers has actually been playing DM for Fulham and doing so quite effectively at times. He looks much more comfortable there the more you watch him then he has at CB.

  16. Bill says:

    Great review Yogi

    Great results and we really needed 3 points yesterday and the fact that Chelsea lost was an unexpected bonus. 2 more goals for PEA and he has been awesome this season. He is on pace to score almost 30 league goals and probably win the golden boot. With our suspect defense he is the single biggest reason we are competing for 4th place. Without PEA we would probably be somewhere below Man U in the table and hoping to hold on to a Europa league spot.

  17. C says:


    I stand corrected on my ‘Bill’ line-up:


  18. ferkov says:


    That’s progress for yer?

    On Bielik.
    If they think he could ever be a candidate, they should surely bring him back now.
    Lee Bowyer, his current boss, and a cynical spiteful nasty (tidy too)player in his day, really rates him, and he’s fit and ready for mid season introduction.
    He’s definitely a better bench warmer than Kos, and probably a good like for like for Rob .

  19. ferkov says:


    Now you’ve sobered up, is there still a hair pull?

  20. LSG says:

    Rugani is a good shout but unlikely in our price range. Juve are no mugs.

    Chambers wouldn’t be such a good recall—he has been playing as DM and was not very successful at CB for Fulham. They give up goals even more easily than us!

  21. C says:


    Bielik has been very good for them and if you read the reviews from all parties, when he plays they look a much stronger team defensively and are able to play out of the back…and when he doesn’t they are shit.

    I wouldn’t be opposed at all to bringing him back if we are unable to secure somebody because if he keeps progressing as he has I could see him doing what Holding has done.

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