Living In The Real World

Real Madrid’s new President, elected on Sunday, has insisted that he has broken no rules in speaking with Arjen Robben. He believes this as he was not connected with the club, other than being a Socio, until he was voted in following a contentious Election Night. Well, Squabbin, that might just be where you get yourself into even deeper trouble with UEFA. For in trying to engineer the players move to Real Madrid, you have acted as an unregistered Agent. Now, whilst a two transfer window ban may hit the club hard as the ageing squad is not up to challenging for trophies, a ban on any involvement in football may well hit you personally even harder. For acting as an Agent is against FIFA Rules as well, especially if you are not registered with them as such.

In a rather worrying turn, he lets us into his personal nightmare opining that, “Before I became President, he was a dream”, referring to Robben. Now, I am not sure what happens to the dreams of man as age encroaches. I had rather hoped that they would stay in the realms of fantasies about whichever nubile Actress or Pop Songstress is my current flavour of the month. To be told they are of midget Dutch acrobats is deeply disturbing and if this is what the World has to offer, please stop and let me off.

Back to what was originally up for grabs; you will note that in the next quote he comments, “I have never spoken to a player” directly contradicting another quote from the same interview, “As far as I know, it is not illegal to talk”, inferring that he has spoken to Robben. You will also note the clever phraseology, weasling his way out of the potential trouble by the use of the pronoun, “I”, which in every other interview has been “We”. Step forward Pedraig Mijatovic, Calderon’s fall guy. You are the one he will blame when FIFA come knocking. Rather like the Enron defence, “I did not know what was happening” will be ringing around the halls of FIFA-strasse 20. And no doubt you could substitute the name “Robben” for “Fabregas” and he will run the same escape route. Make no mistake, this hombre has learnt a lot from Florentino Perez. So a few summers and winters of “We want [insert your best players name here] to join us…” destabilising a club near you soon

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