One thing that never ceases to amaze me is the complete codswallop that our elected representatives spout every time they open their mouths. It matters not one jot whether it is about the NHS, Tax, Immigration or Sport. Whatever they say is, as a rule, stunningly stupid. Now I am the first to admit that the previous sentences in this paragraph are sweeping generalisations – something that I am good at – and there are occasional exceptions to the rule. But on the whole, I’m right. And as this is my blog, I’m always right and shall be forever more. Even on the numerous occasions I am wrong.
Today’s example of the rubbish that we have to contend with comes from Lord Triesman who yesterday was promoting The Foreign Office’s efforts to make supporters lives easier at the upcoming Corporate Splurge that passes for a World Cup. Amongst the brainwaves that the faceless bureaucrats have come up with is that in order to promote friendship between the erstwhile hosts and their English Counterparts, England fans should “sing their hearts out for the lads” in German. I kid you not. The British Government is paying salaries for a numpty to come up with something as stupid as that. Unless of course, they have gone to the nearest lobotomy patient and asked them to do it. This is exactly the kind of moronic, thoughtless behaviour that we have to put up with. It beggars belief. Honestly, it does. I see no reason for them to waste taxpayers funds on this sort of useless project. It contributes nothing. A Dialysis machine could have been purchased for the cost of this PR blitz. Moreover, it is a prime example of how the current Government is intent on sticking it’s head into the barrel, missing the major portion of the contents and picking up on the dregs at the bottom.
They have a website for this crass stupidity, that in the interests of research I have visited. There is the section for songs, that currently includes the sum total of one entry. Yep, one entry. And a famous England anthem it is; “You’ll Never Walk Alone”. I’ve heard that hundreds of times at England matches, nay, thousands of times at recent internationals. Complete tosh. They cannot even pick a song that anyone other than Liverpool sing. Not only that, they threaten to enlarge the section. Well, thanks Guys but don’t bother. If you cannot even get it right first time out, stop now before you make complete arses of yourselves. In any case, there are a number of England fans who can already sing in German, albeit the two worded song, “Seig Heil” which will be coming to a German city near you in the Summer Tour.
Just to let us know that real football people have had an input on the site, they have included translations of some hilarious football quotes, where you can sit discussing the political and cultural environment that included such mirthmakers as Joan Gasparts 1997 quip, “The most educated person at Real Madrid is the woman who cleans the toilets.” There won’t be a dry eye in the Bierkeller when you roll the German translation of that one out. C’mere there’s more. Such as the humourous news story about the German cheesemakers in Magdeburg who have made a Gouda with a black and white rind that has, to quote the website, “captured the imagination of football fans”. You slay me, Greavsie.
There is even a helpful glossary section, covering translations of “off-side position”, “nutmeg” and “dangerous play in front of goal”. All of which can be heard on the commentaries but never in a ground. But the real crackers are “linesman” – aren’t they Assistant Referees? – “The Ball Is Round”, which according to the contextual notes is a”Quote by the former German national coach Sepp Herberger, meaning that this is the only certainty in the game of football and anything else can happen”…but the piece de resistance is the translation of “fisted / punched clearance” which I am not going to go into because some legal action has already started on part of that phrase.
You may accuse me of being a killjoy and not taking the site in good humour. Well, perhaps that is because there is no good humour on there, at least not in my eyes anyway. It is a typical attempt at being hip and cool by the Labour Government – style over substance. Except in this case, there is not an ounce of style. Which is about 100% more than any substance contained in the remainder of the entries over there.
Todays Tunes are from Ian Brown’s 2005 Glastonbury appearance: