It’s one of the more unusual destinations in which to decide your future but this is no ordinary situation.
Leon Goretzka, linked with just about everyone, is taking the opportunity of a mid-season break to Benidorm to decide which club he is going to join for next season, most likely on a free transfer in June.
There’s plenty to distract him. It’s in Spain – Real Madrid perking up – while he can choose any cuisine he wants, maybe German – Bayern or Italian – Juventus.
A few beers down the line, an evening in Sticky Vicky’s company will put him in the mood for a move to England. I suspect it will be Chelsea under those circumstances; John Terry’s probably on a low-rent flight already to join him. Ah wait, that’s low-cost; Terry’s low-rent.
Put our lot in Sticky Vicky’s and they wouldn’t know what to do. Or where to look. The days of drunk and disorderly Danes with mechanophilia are far behind us.
It’s all about who replace Alexis Sanchez these days. The latest is Wilfred Zaha. His performance against Morocco yesterday a rare bright spot in the dishevelled wreckage of Ivory Coast’s World Cup qualifiers. It’s not a signing to set the pulses racing though, especially at a mooted fee of £35m. Without wishing to be cruel, I expect more for my money.
Not that it is my money, of course, although Arsène does spend club funds as if he had my budget to play with.
There’s plenty of talk of goalkeepers around. Marc-Andre Ter Stegen is ready to give up being Barcelona’s Number One to become Arsenal’s Number One. Meanwhile, they call him Kepa, Kepa the Keeper turned his nose up at being the main man at Real Madrid. Arsenal are In Like Flint given both our goalkeepers are out of contract in summer 2019.
I’m a Giroud, How Do You Do
Meanwhile en France, Olivier Giroud testified that the Good Lord has faith in him to deliver. Amen, brother, AMEN!
Can you feel it pulsing through your veins? The blood of Arsenal runs through his: “I am happy at Arsenal and I am fine with the decision to stay because I want to.” Amen, brother, AMEN!
And then he got all biblical.
“The story between the club and myself is not over and not finished,” he declared, pounding the lectern to murmurous approval.
“I keep believing in my quality and I keep the faith!” You gotta have faith, Ollie; faith, brother, FAITH!
“I have a lot of objectives with Arsenal and my country so I always try to move forward and keep scoring,” as he checked the time of his flight to Alicante where Leon will meet him for the wild weekend.
“I’m sure He was watching almost all the games especially because Aaron was playing,” casting himself as the Prodigal Son, whose years of debauchery have been forgiven. Aaron stays at home dutifully, except for when he’s on the pitch. Then he does whatever he pleases, all with His blessing.
“He’s always supporting me and there is a lot of trust in each other,” for He knows that Olivier will take Him to those places in Paris where A-A-Ron won’t go.
“He trusts in me and I try to give it back on the pitch when I can,” he TESTIFIED!
On a Mission For God
At the back of the room, He stood watching, nodding in approval, eyeing the suitcases and his mind already wandering the Playa Levante. Snapping back to reality, he recalled His Olivier having fun for his country.
Six goals in 12 appearances this season, but a paltry 3 in 14 for Arsenal? It’s hard to be critical when 10 of those appearances add up to 178 minutes on the pitch, with 1 goal in that time. Two goals in four ninety minute games is par for the course.
That’s it for today. This evening, Northern Ireland aim to give Granit Xhaka a few weeks break next summer but judging by the first leg and the Swiss superiority, it’s unlikely to happen.