Bad Taste and Kits Mingle With Sardines and Trawlers. A Typical Pre-Season Day

And there you have it. A gargantuan monstrosity of a third kit, the worst since the last time we issued a really bad kit design. Pink? What in the name of the mother of all things holy is pink doing in a football kit!?!?!?!? I swear on the Holy Sky Football Yearbook that this is a sign of the increasing licentiousness in the modern game.

Either that or the board has gone full ‘Mad Max’ on us. “Hire a plane? Pah! You can watch the team play in a crap home kit next season”; “Another plane? Let the away kit follow suit”; “My god, you’re gluttons for punishment, aren’t you. Let the Gods of Bad Taste loose on the third kit!”

And when they finished doing that, the Gods of Bad Taste pootled on over here to take over writing the rest of the post.

It’s a shame the kit wasn’t ‘old skool’; yesterday’s training sessions was, as the pictures of Mesut Özil running up the steps of the stand attest. Bouldie, down on the pitch, went into full ‘Ron Manager’ mode, “Jumpers for goalposts! Next goal wins! My ball, my rules!”

The big fella was suddenly in his element, taking control of the boombox, spinning out Shakatak, Shalamar, Level 42 and Luther Vandross to his heart’s content. Every 80s footballer liked that quartet while a decade before they were all ‘into’ The Eagles and Neil Diamond.

The prospect of Peter Storey psyching himself up for a match listening to Cat Stevens is an image you can’t quite shake. Did he rail against hippies and the kids ‘bloody racket’, or glam rock as it became known. Maybe he imagined Billy Bremner as Gary Glitter or Alan Hudson – in his Chelsea days – as Derek out of the Bay City Rollers.

Fisherman Blues

Arsène meanwhile, hopped off his trawler and engaged ‘obtuse’ mode. Arsenal Football Club doesn’t lose trophies, he declared or some such nonsense which sent blood pressures around the globe rising as people reacted to the headlines. Reading his words, they are instantly recognisable as nonsense. Indeed, had Stanley Unwin delivered them, they would have made more sense.

In case you missed them, Wenger noted,

“We want to win trophies but you cannot live inside a club thinking we want to win the next trophy and if you don’t win it then you have lost.”

Which is something I sort of understand, if he was talking about the psychology of the situation and not letting a failure to win trophies get the players all despondent. The sort of mood which makes them not want to renew their contracts, that sort of thing.

But I don’t think he was, as Arsène then lost the plot,

“The club is something bigger than that and has a stronger basis than that.”

Say what? I opened up my Cantona Translation and after I typed in the phrase, it just gave a Gallic shrug of its’ shoulders before shutting down.

A Cunning Plan Is Hatched

After that, he took the pencils out of his nostrils and underwear off his head.

“On a personal level, I want to win every game. When we lose a game I’m absolutely mad and sad, but it is part of being a coach.

“I’ve stayed here for a long time because of the values I hold close to me. One is to win trophies but more importantly it is to know who we are, and what is important to us in the game.

“It is that basis which wins football games and that’s what I will do until the end of my career.”

There’s a joke in there about the value of eight million pounds each year but I can’t be arsed to make it. It’s pre-season and there’s plenty of time left to hone biting wit, one of the values I hold close to me, as it happens.

As you might have guessed, there’s not much else going on. Tomorrow is an 11am kick-off which is proper old skool if it were New Years Day and Spurs the opposition. But it’s not and they’re not so it’s just a pleasant late morning start. Nothing inconvenient like 7am or earlier.

’til Tomorrow.

70 thoughts on “Bad Taste and Kits Mingle With Sardines and Trawlers. A Typical Pre-Season Day

  1. YW,

    Yea, I read the same thing. Heard for all the talent of the boy, he liked to party too much and was a real pain in the ass to deal with.

    I do hope that he gets it together and has a long career.

  2. “I’ve stayed here for a long time because of the values I hold close to me. One is to win trophies but more importantly it is to know who we are, and what is important to us in the game.

    “It is that basis which wins football games and that’s what I will do until the end of my career.”

    What a pretentious load of old bollocks.

  3. Third kit, they should have just added red and it would have been okay. I do find it funny that Sanchez seems to have been apart of all of the kit launches, and yesterday the PR team put out a love video.

    Arsene quotes, you rightly say, its pre-season maybe another day.

  4. Morning all
    YW….there’s nothing wrong with Shalamar(or Shakatak-but he was shit up front for us…..)

  5. I love that 3rd kit.

    Charcoal grey, battleship grey and pink – cool as, especially set against the Opera House in the evening.

  6. Good afternoon folks and thanks for the post Yogi.

    I suggest Wenger signs a new script writer, his present one is crap.

  7. Andy1886
    It’s the type of comment made by Wenger that gives the good folks at Untold and Positevely Arsenal a giant hard on, but for the rest of us it’s quite transparent.

    If one looks it up in the “Wenger to English “translation, it reads ” I’ve stayed here for a long time because they let me run the show and I don’t have to win the league ever again to keep my job. No , seriously, ever!”

  8. Been reading snippets from here,there and everywhere this morning…….I reckon Giroud is on his way-from his answers he’s already talking about his time with us in the past tense.
    I think Lemar seems a real possibility-and with reference to C’s earlier post,the Ox is on his way(because of Lemar’s arrival).
    Ožil says he’s going to talk contracts when back from Oz-maybe he’s hung on to see what signings we’ve made.I think Alexis will stay.
    That’s just me-what do I know?…..I’m just reading between the lines.
    We’ll see by the end of the summer won’t we?

  9. Tom,

    Totally agree…but please don’t include Wenger & giant hard on near each other again when posting as I’m still trying to get Shalamar & Shakatak out of my head.

    The pink kit is seriously grotesque too. It won’t get any party started.

    & with that , I’m off

  10. Jonnygunner,

    I think it more likely that Ozil hung on to see if any offers were forthcoming, they weren’t so he would like a nice upgraded three year contract at £275,000 per week. Please! Pretty please!

  11. There has been a lot of media talk about Sanchez and the club’s that want him. The only definitive statement came from Bayern Munich, they lost interest when his wage demands became known.

    That effectively leaves Chelsea, PSG and Man City. Wenger has, reportedly, stated that he will not be sold to a Premiership club. I think the wages may be a bit steep for a Ligue one club and with the lack of other interest the options open to Sanchez come down to moving on a lower wage or re-signing on a higher one. My guess is he’s staying.

  12. It’s a keeper’s jersey design rolled out as the third strip. Lazy work

    Anyone else starting to get the nagging feeling that if Sanchez goes, it’s going to be when the music stops and we’ll be left standing with no pants on and no chairs to sit on?

  13. By the way, I’ll add, just to put your minds at rest, strip musical chairs is a game that is only to be played with mature adults.

    Not for children’s parties – ever!

    Jelly and ice cream optional for either version of the game though 😉

  14. God`day,

    I find my resolve to not care about anything Arsenal related begin crumble and a there´s a breach in the wall.

    Darn, it´s like drugs or porn. Just can´t stay away as the juicy transfers rumours begin to float around

    Is Jack, Theo, Jenks, Gibbs, the Ox gone as well as Sanchez, Peres, Giroud? Its like Game of Thrones where it takes one movement to initiate something and then an eartquake of movements.

  15. Orson Kaert,

    PSG are the interesting option. Could possibly suit all parties but we haven’t heard anything recently to suggest a deal may be on the cards.

  16. Afternoon all,

    Welsh Corgi Cardigan,

    After all these years of reading the blog, and the ever growing depression that is our AFC, I now feel bound to pick up on your post. Surely you would go for a tidal wave of movements, possibly even a tsunami, but an earthquake made me feel a little uneasy.

    Nothing personal, and pedantic I know, but we all have to keep to our values apparently, so I shall now creep of back to the darkness, never to post again, possibly.

  17. If he was an honourable man he would say something like, “I have stayed at Arsenal for too long. I know this but can’t give up on a losing streak. I persuade myself that it will all come good again but I know, deep down, that it won’t. I do apologise for my stubborn and selfish attitude to this great club.”

  18. andy1886,

    Orson Kaert,

    Can’t see the PSG thing happening, I know Sanchez is a special talent but they already have Draxler, Jese, Lucas Moura and Di Maria. I feel like they are looking for a striker more than they are another winger / attacker.

  19. consolsbob,

    Haha! That’s too much even for a good honest person to confess publicly. But he could say that he is desperate to put Arsenal back on top before his career is over and feels urgency to make up for the failures of last season. He could at least admit there have been failures this last decade and especially in the league last two seasons.

  20. Barca have leaked they don’t want Bellerin anymore not because of the money but because: ‘does not meet all the physical and technical conditions’.

    Sounds like Arsenal possibly played the hardball game and won, though there is still quite some time left in the window. It is looking more and more likely that Ozil (based on comments too), Sanchez, Bellerin are all staying. Ozil says he will discuss it when everybody is back in London, which gives me the feeling that Ozil will sign a new deal and I can’t see anybody coming in for Sanchez until late in the window so I could see him staying another year at least.

  21. footballers are dishonest lots…imagine Dani Alves asked Juventus to cancel his contract so he can join Guardiola for free, man city already agreed a deal with him only to sign for PSG who gave him an outrageous offer at the last minute…Guardiola will be livid

  22. I wonder why Arsenal never get into the loan of players: I mean Juve have taken Douglas Costa on loan with the option to buy permanent at seasons end, James Rodriguez to Bayern for 2 years with the option to buy after the loan spell, Frank Kessie (one of the hottest young prospects in Europe and has been likened to Essien) has a 2 year loan deal with Milan with the option to buy after the 2 year.

  23. has no one noticed how short Lacazette is (unless the ink strip makes him look that way) ? maybe we are following the Everton of the 80s formula – a small front line ?

    also – in some lights the pink looks orange so maybe that’s a bit better..

  24. Ian:
    Ah yes pink and black, the traditional colours of the Arsenal jersey………said no-one ever!

    My Viera jersey is pink and grey from multiple washes

  25. C,

    Yep, I’d forgotten about Benny who was more than useful.

    There must be decent players who are peripheral at big clubs throughout Europe who could do a good job for us. Where’s Wilfried Bony these days ?😣

  26. Paulie Walnuts,

    I mean we could have paid the 6.5m for Douglas Costa, but surely there are some out there. Bony, well he is somewhere deep in Pep’s ” no use for” bin.

  27. Paulie Walnuts,

    Remember why we ended up getting Baptiste on loan in the first place? That ridiculous chase the previous summer when Julio made it clear he wasn’t leaving Spain due to his passport situation, but Wenger still claiming something could be sorted out.

    That deal was madness, we got a misfiring Baptiste who had failed at RM and they got a misfiring Reyes. Neither team ended up wanting the player they brought in and both went elsewhere after their loan deals.

  28. Wednesday, Quote “It is definitely my preference to stay (at Arsenal)” “Once everybody is back in London, we will sit down and discuss the future. I have always said I feel very good at Arsenal”. Mesut Ozil, speaking today.

  29. Sign Lemar, get in a top CM. Announce Ozil renewal. Clear wages and trim squad. Keep up tough stance on selling Alexis to rival and maybe Alexis renews too. This could be a great summer window. First steps are there with Sead and Lacazette. Keep it up AFC.

  30. C,

    Classy guy. Want to see him win one more grand slam, particularly his favorite one, Wimbledon.

  31. C:
    I wonder why Arsenal never get into the loan of players: I mean Juve have taken Douglas Costa on loan with the option to buy permanent at seasons end, James Rodriguez to Bayern for 2 years with the option to buy after the loan spell, Frank Kessie (one of the hottest young prospects in Europe and has been likened to Essien) has a 2 year loan deal with Milan with the option to buy after the 2 year.

    It probably has something do with the reason we also can’t re-sign stars like Ozil and Sanchez. Something is rotten in the Emirates.

  32. C,

    The James Rodriguez and Douglas Costa deals illustrate not every cub is buying into the idea they all need to support the frothy market.

    Both are creative, flexible deals over a couple of years. Costa’s deal is being reported as a low yearly fee loan fee with a closing fee clause if he plays a certain number of games (which I believe triggers the loan to a buy).

    The PL is looking a bit silly to be frank and, at least in the present Ozil and Sanchez (ably abetted by Arsenal’s panic) seem to have gotten ahead of themselves.

    There will always be stratospheric deals for the rare player but the idea the rising tide floats all boats is looking little dubious of late.

    Just one year ago every pundit and noted journalist (serious guys) were telling us the Chinese market would shape the future of the game. I called BS on that early days…but I’ll bet we see more of this creative type deal than mega-spends on average in the near future.

  33. DFS-,

    Exactly, I think its 6m a year for both loan deals, I would gladly take either player for 6m loan fee a year.

    They are not the first players from big clubs that have went on loan for a year or 2 to another big club with the option to buy. I don’t understand why ARsenal don’t get into it especially when its clear some of these big clubs like Madrid, Barca, Juve, PSG, Bayern and others are willing to do these deals.

  34. C,

    “….when its clear some of these big clubs like Madrid, Barca, Juve, PSG, Bayern and others are willing to do these deals”.

    This – if clubs of this scale are making smart and creative deals – everyone should take note.

    Even though this is a clumsy analogy, I think the market is going to level and become similar to a salary cap system – specific to each club. There might be more money in the game at present, but clubs are also better run and more fiscally responsible than in the past.

    The failure of a Gibbs transfer is more indicative than the Lacazette fee. Transfer fees and wages are not going to keep balloning (in a general sense) because ultimately the optics are too offensive.

    The sensible clubs (Bayern Munich as you always mention)set parameters and stick within those confines. In their case – the Bundeliga philosophy in general – the overarching view is that wages, fees, ticket prices need to be ‘realistic’ from the fans perspective, because of their direct involvement with the ownership of clubs.

    Bayern are in rude financial health but are rational actors – and financial discipline does not appear to limit their competitiveness

    Naturally there will always be outliers such as Manchester United who always seem determined to spend whatever it takes- but the broader market is a little more conservative (already) than many think.

  35. C,

    I forgot this (doh)….

    “Exactly, I think its 6m a year for both loan deals, I would gladly take either player for 6m loan fee a year”.

    Absolutely!!

    Both deals made me feel aggravated and even embarrassed that we (or other PL clubs) were not striking the deals to bring such players to the Premier League.

    I am very excited to see Costa at Juve but I also hope James flourishes at Bayern.

  36. DFS-,

    I agree with you on the market, I don’t think it will keep ballooning like it has and at some point it will flatline. I think the one thing that Bayern has showed is that, while they are the dominant club in Germany, they strike actually really good deals with other clubs not to mention the fact that they seem to get really good value in their loan deals.

    The fact that they have been able to get both Koman and now James on loan from other big clubs is annoying when you think that other big clubs could have done the same.

    I understand that Arsene and Arsenal want to have a wage structure, but their biggest failing is that it didn’t make sense, no way that Gibbs and Jenks should make as much as they do to the point that even now with the inflated PL money they couldn’t come to terms.

    I agree with you about the failings of the Gibbs deal especially when you look at the fact that Bournemouth were able to not only afford Ake’s wages but his transfer fee as well.

    The fact that all the other clubs around Europe routinely make fiscally responsible decisions yet it seems to escape PL clubs is baffling. The fact that you see clubs like Juve constantly making brilliant deals and then you scratch your head when you see Arsenal struggle so mightly to get players not only to come but stay of the same quality.

    I’m really excited to see Costa at Juve, especially now that he will be playing opposite Cuadrado (Chelsea loaned him to Juve go figure that shit). Most won’t agree but a front 4 of Costa/Higuain/Cuadrado/Dybala plus the hard-working and skilled Manzudiac as a super-sub, Juve have done it AGAIN!

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