On Silly Things, Alexis & Ox

One idea I missed in the IFAB ‘Fair Play’ document was the suggestion of cutting matches to 60 minutes. The logic is tenuous; “Many people are very frustrated that a typical 90-minute match has fewer than 60 minutes of effective (actual) playing time”. No change for Olivier Giroud, then.

As if cutting the match time to 60 minutes is going to make a blind bit of difference. It will lead to a raft of 1 – 0 wins, as Mourinho wins the Premier League for the rest of his lifetime thanks to his tactics of scoring early and time-wasting for 55 minutes.

The only way to make a 60-minute match work is if it is followed by a no holds barred rollerball match where the last man standing wins three bonus points for his team.

It’s Sunday so the purveyors of transfer tattle are in their element. Alexis is the lead story with claims the Chilean is demanding £21.85m a year. Bayern are ensuring this is positioned as the greedy player’s fault, not the club.

With Arsenal unable to meet those demands either, he is heading north to Manchester City, to be reunited with Pep Guardiola, the manager who signed him for Barcelona. As if Wenger or Gazidis is stupid enough to sell a player to another Premier League club:

“Arsenal regret to announce that Alexis Sanchez has left to join Manchester City. Arsène Wenger committed seppuku and Ivan Gazidis is caged, hanging from a lamp-post outside the Emirates, waiting for the birds to peck his eyes out. The hounds devoured the remainder of the board. Message Ends, Ernst Stavro Kroenke”

No doubt Alexis’ agent is playing the media, with Arsenal on the back foot. The one common theme throughout the summer is the absence of stories claiming Alexis will stay at the Emirates.

You’re Talking Out Of Your Aulas

Arsenal’s hopes of replacing him with Alexandre Lacazette were given a little bit boost when Jean-Michel Aulas admitted Lyon wanted to sign Chelsea’s Bertrand Traore. He confirmed they were in “advanced talks” which offers the hope that we might get a half-decent striker in this summer, probably shifting Welbeck to the left side.

So busy are the Transfer Window Action Team with Lacazette or the folly of chasing Mbappe, that they aren’t taking care of business closer to home. Liverpool’s interest in Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain faded when it emerged that Arsenal were set to offer him a new contract a few weeks ago. It’s been revived as Team Ox let it be known no talks had taken place, nor were any planned.

The Times runs with the story that Ox’s patience is thin and he is ready to demand a transfer. Well played; his Mr20% is earning his corn with little prospect of the pressure on the club easing. With no tangible progress on any contract negotiations, the club is allowing itself to be portrayed as incompetent and inactive.

It begs the question as to what the PR department are doing. I’m struggling to remember a positive story about the club since the FA Cup final. Now, there is a strong case for actions speaking louder than words and I wholeheartedly agree with that philosophy but this is a club which is in turmoil.

One of the central ideas behind a director of football was to make the club more dynamic. Instead, we’re left with the same appearance of a lack of activity. The one summer that Wenger needed a massive win is not looking any different from the rest. Rabbits, hats – magic hats – are desperately needed if renewing contract is going to be anything other than hubris.

’til Tomorrow.

20 thoughts on “On Silly Things, Alexis & Ox

  1. Afternoon,

    I understand that the Transfer Windows Action Team are working really hard to find a target with exactly the right name so that the PR team can create another of those really cute word games to announce the signing.

  2. Wavey,
    T*W*A*T – I like it (really, I do) 😂

    With Wenger as chief of the TWAT’s it’s not exactly unlikely that at the end of the TW the club will all look like a bunch of TWATS 😂😂

  3. Good Day, Gentlemen,

    Actually I am a bit concerned that Andy seems to be calling Wavey a ****. 🙂

    Wavey, I thought you Sid you were going into purdah for the duration of the transfer window?

    Anyway, thank you, Yogi, for the transfer updates, although you were a little harsh on the Transfer Window Inactivity Team (Oh, I geddit, Twit 🙂 ) aren’t they fulfilling their role in an exemplary fashion?

    [Hope Andy doesn’t call me a twit!] 🙂

  4. Actually Yogi, the idea is to stop the clock each time the ball goes out of play, thus we will actually get sixty minutes playing time, which is about the same as we get now.

  5. The premise that 90 minutes of football equates to only 60 minutes of actual playing time — (approx 63%) — then it holds that 60 minutes per game will result in approx 45 minutes of actual playing time.

    So next year we will reduce the game to 45 minutes duration, with approx 32 minutes actual playing time – so the year after they will reduce the game to 32 minutes of which approx 22 minutes is ………

    I smell a plot to get rid of football, just to relieve Andy of his nagging concerns about the way things are going! 🙂 Innit?

  6. I’d really like to laugh at this because it is very funny. Unfortunately it is all too close to the truth.

    ““Arsenal regret to announce that Alexis Sanchez has left to join Manchester City. Arsène Wenger committed seppuku and Ivan Gazidis is caged, hanging from a lamp-post outside the Emirates, waiting for the birds to peck his eyes out. The hounds devoured the remainder of the board. Message Ends, Ernst Stavro Kroenke””

  7. andy1886,

    Can’t take credit, all Yogi’s work.


    I’m not going to stop commenting and having a dig about the inactivity, I’m just ignoring all of the fake stories and leaks. Until we make actual signings I will continue to giggle at the nonsense.

  8. Gentlemen, as we were called on an earlier post, we are informed that this is indeed father’s day and we should not be so miserable as suggested by the Pennsylvania Kid who,at this very moment, is resting in the shadow of the Stanley Cup!

  9. Indeed, Happy Fathers Day to all fathers everywhere. Sorry Alexis, dogs do not count as offspring! 🐶🐶😨

  10. Happy Father’s Day to all of you lucky people. My two boys have outdone themselves today. The youngest provided a box of Cadbury’s goodies (for the sweet tooth) and the eldest a case of Strongbow. Happy Days!

  11. Father’s day has been rendered inert for me as I neither have one nor am one.
    But to those who are celebrating it with loved ones – I wish you the best.
    I am in rain-sodden Vancouver for a day before yoiking on to Portland tomorrow.
    2 weeks left – I am practically out of money and semi-delirious from travelling but still picking up the posts and noting the textbook Arsenal summer stasis.
    Plus ca change…

  12. Hearts, minds and prayers go to those both in Mali and London after two absolutely horrific and disgusting acts of violence.

  13. Another disgraceful attack on innocent people. Clearly some gormless idiot who thinks that attacking the Muslem community is the answer. Absolutely ridiculous. At least he has been caught and will be prosecuted.

  14. More sad news from the UK and Mali. With regard to the UK it makes you wonder how many plots are foiled.

    On the Arsenal front our brains trust are doing their repeatable, sustainable worst, whilst others get on with the job of improving. I won’t even say competitors, because we don’t compete at the top level any more, if we ever did.
    Should we have a disastrous window, I don’t think it is inconsistent to support the team but barrack Wenger and the board visually and vocally at the stadium. With luck, it may bring about a change.

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