On Crap Kits, Rule Changes & Transfer Gossip

The sun is shining and all is good with the world. Almost.

By now you’ve seen the leaked photo of the new kit poster. It’s the right shade of red, which is a good start. *drums fingers* OK, I give up, it’s the only good thing about it but my god, how much acid did Puma designers drop to come up with the away and third strips?

Monstrous, absolutely monstrous.

Elsewhere, the lull before the opening of the transfer window kicks in, with divination by appearance in kit promotional materials the current fad.

Well before the Spanish taxman decided to hand Cristiano Ronaldo with a £14m bill, he was omitted from Real Madrid’s sales push for the coming season. It was, the claim went, a sign he was leaving.

Or, it’s a sign that Real don’t need to push for sales of what will be the most popular name on the back of the shirts.

The same with Mesut Özil and Alexis Sanchez. Just because they are in the poster doesn’t mean they are staying. Soz and all that if you thought they were. There’s fury at Highbury House as they won’t now be able to photoshop Mbappe into the promo materials.

It’s why the kit hasn’t been released yet. There’s an amazing new player being announced at the same time, isn’t there? We all know it.

Alexandre Lacazette won’t be that player. Or he might be; who knows? Jean-Michel Aulas certainly doesn’t. Moments after declaring Arsenal had bid for the striker, he removed the pencils from his nose and took underpants off his head, and regaled us with the tale of a collapsed deal to Atletico Madrid. They were, all of a sudden, the only team to bid for Lacazette.

At which point, he wibbled out of the room.

Leaving On A Midnight Train To…

Away from the headline grabbers, the least surprising departure of the summer is on the cards. Despite statistics proving him to be an effective player, Lucas Perez is heading back to Spain; Deportivo La Coruna and Sevilla are interested.

The Heil reckons Everton’s quest to sign the entire England Under-21 squad continues apace. Backed by Farhad Moshiri’s money – you remember him, used to be a co-owner of 30% of Arsenal shares – they are splurging cash to build a title bid. Calum Chambers is worth £15m they say; nobody at Arsenal was available to take their call to provide them with an answer.

Here’s a hint. If Spurs are telling United Eric Dier is worth £50m, Chambers is at £75m. Daniel Levy inhaled too much dust from the rubble clogging up the swamp, it seems.

It’s not just the clubs who are losing their minds, it seems. The IFAB rulemakers, according to The Times, want to allow players to take corners or free kicks to themselves, which means Cristiano Ronaldo will never pass again. Arsenal will benefit from that; no longer will we witness a procession of corners that don’t clear the first defender.

Other proposals include goal kicks don’t have to leave the penalty area but only defenders can touch the ball; attackers must remain outside the area. The strategy document, Play Fair, is keen to eradicate cheating. They propose that handling of a backpass by a goalkeeper be punishable with a penalty. Given that it is deliberate handball, surely it should be punishable by a penalty already? It sounds like an admin change, if you ask me.

Clear As Mud

It wouldn’t be the IFAB if there weren’t an eyebrow raiser included. Awarding a penalty-goal for handball on the goal-line is just that. The definition of the “goal-line” ensures it will be a contentious rule change.

That’s it for today. The sun is shining and the garden beckons.

’til Tomorrow.


14 thoughts on “On Crap Kits, Rule Changes & Transfer Gossip

  1. Good afternoon,

    Another excellent write up. The suggested rule changes are even wackier than the transfer rumours. It definitely is the silly season.

    Think I’ll try to tune out to the rest of the transfer window nonsense and await the start of the season with an unprepared team short of players. Bye bye Sanchez, it was great watching you strut your stuff in an Arsenal kit. Just a pity the club aren’t willing to match your ambitions.

  2. Thanks, YW, not much for us underlings to add to your Post.

    Except …. well it would not be right unless …….. 🙂

    1) The proposed new back pass rule regarding a GK handling it is new.
    Currently a GK can never be penalised for handling in the penalty area. So presumably a penalty for handling a pass back must, ipso facto, be within the penalty area for a penalty to be awarded, otherwise it would be giving a penalty for handball outside the area — ridiculous.

    2) As regards goal kicks not needing to leave the penalty area, but can only be played by the defending team — can they be offside? 🙂 Can a defender take the kick and pass to the GK playing ‘rush CF’?

    3) How does that help make the game more entertaining? Won’t referees get more abuse than they currently do with fans increasingly yelling ‘you don’t know what you are doing!’

    Aren’t these changes total bollix devised by men who have never actually watched the game?

  3. Excellent stuff Yogi!

    I laughed when I read the penalty awarded for a GK handling a deliberate back pass because in my men’s and coed leagues, its the very rule and its been in place for 4 years now. Seems we might have been revolutionary in our law making! 😉

  4. Somehow, this blatant con trick surrounding kits, aimed at fans, must end. Not only are the kits becoming more and more bizarre in design and colour, but prices are escalating and the issue increasing in frequency.
    Families, particularly those with impressionable young children, are being screwed by greedy clubs and it’s got to stop. 😉

  5. nicky,

    For a while it looked like the PL was at least making a effort to ensure fans were not being ripped off too much by controlling how often clubs could change strips. That has now gone completely out of the window and there are three new strips every season. Football is becoming a sport for the rich and those happy to accumulate increasing mountains of debt.

  6. Top marks to Bellerin for pledging £50 for every min to the Grefell Tower victim he plays in Euros and since he is the clear first choice and Spain are expected to make at least the semi’s.

  7. Just to clarify for those who are even remotely interested :- The transfer window has usually opened on the 1st July each summer, marking the end of the footballers contract period on the 30th of June —- however this year the transfer window opens on Friday, June 9 for English clubs.
    In other words it has been open for approx 10 days.

    The 2017 summer transfer window in England and Scotland will shut at 11pm on Thursday, August 31st – two-and-a-half-weeks into the Premier League season.

    So there we go lads – bags of time to stew over why we have not got someone yet — well for those who let such things get to them. 😀

  8. I try to wash such thoughts out of my head, C. (I sometimes convince myself that is the case), but the little worm of curiosity and impatience does keep nibbling away in the background!! 😀

  9. Transfer hot stew blues:

    1 indecisive manager
    1 Mr “no power” Law
    plethora of targets
    1 unambitious owner
    lots of media reports
    Seasonstart stumpling in from the left

    How to:
    First you send the owner back to from where he came. next the indecisive manager makes an early signing to show he really isnt that indesicive after all. Then he goes on holiday, but first he tells Mr Law not to do anything before he is back.
    Alas, the holiday is a bust, cause he only manage to drink a few drinks a day (damn them straws, cause they hit the eye more than the mouth). When he finally do get home from the holiday he learns that the media has put out plenty of reports on Arsenal and the plethora of players they have bid on….alledgedly. the next week is spend on talking to Mr law about whats up and down on the media reports. he decide to deny everything except a few of the media reports on which he is very ambiguous.
    After another 3 weeks of evaluating the squad and a preseason tour he is finally ready to make a few bids for players he thinks he can use. His trick is to lowball the first bid, cause who nows, he might get it accepted…at least thats how it is in a perfect world.
    After a long and hard drawn out process he finally manage to land 2 players. A younster and a player from the 2nd shelve he thinks he can mold into a 1st shelve player.
    Swooping in from the left comes the season start and despite shitty play from the team they manage to gain 4 points from the first 3 games. The fans are in uproar and the indecisive manager realize the squad needs a few more players, so in the last 3 days of the summer window he scoops up 3 new players strengthening all 3 lines. Finally all is well in the kingdom of Arsenal and 1st of september the fans feel that the real season for them can start.

    Now this is how you make a Transfer Hot Stew Blues. I hope the taste is acceptable for all great and small.

  10. H

    To clarify your point re transfer window, June 9th was the time when transfers between English clubs. July is the window when all transfers can take place. Both close, as you say, at the same time.

  11. Raven,

    I think I’d change a bit..

    “so in the last 3 days of the summer window he scoops up 3 new players to address perceived holes in his squad. He didn’t really want to sign them and is unlikely to give them much playing time, but he was under pressure from fans and needed to be seen to be doing something. Early in the season he gives his 3 late signings some game time and they all show promise, but clearly need to acclimatise to the Premier League. As they start to find their feet the manager has his injured players and those playing in international tournaments back again. The 3 late signings make a limited number of appearances over the rest of the season and the manager uses a pet journalist to leak the story that the players haven’t adapted as well as was hoped even though the fans have taken to them.”

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