Medical For Higuain…At Some Point; Fellaini To Arrive…Some Time & More Gossip

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Is one of these people Dick Law?

Day 92 in the Big Brother house. Gonzalo is in the diary room.

“Hello Big Brother.”
“Hello Gonzalo.”
“Gonzalo, Big Brother has a task for you, one that you must not let the others know about.”
“Outside of London Colney, there is a pack of press photographers and ne’er-do-wells, all waiting for you to arrive for a medical. Big Brother wants you to sneak past them and have your medical. Then sneak out and travel to The Emirates for a photoshoot ready for the announcement of your signing.”
“Big Brother wants the news to break on Arsenal.com first.”
“Can you do that Gonzalo?”
“Sure I can, Big Brother.”
“Thank you Gonzalo. As a reward, you will receive a hefty pay packet each week for the next four years. You may go now.”

Quite who would be Big Brother’s voice is open for debate. On the rare occasions I’ve had the misfortune to catch the abomination of a television programme (it says it all when you are grateful for the plethora of soap opera that seem permanently on in our house), the voice has invariably been young and female. Who knows, maybe that’s what Dick Law’s voice sounds like, days lost on incoming deals as executives from selling clubs around the globe collapse into a weeping mass of laughter at the prospect of trying to a reach a deal with a man built like a linebacker, speaking like Scarlet Johannson with a Geordie accent. Hell, maybe even looking like Scarlet Johannson.

As it is, the transfer remains at an advanced stage according to the media and these things take time. You know that some miserable so-and-so will spread their own particular brand of joy if it is completed, complaining that the lead time on delivery has left them a bit meh about it all. You can’t please all of the people, all of the time.

The presumption is that Arsenal are in Spain to resolve this deal but never ones to miss the chance for a piece of cheap gossip, Daily Star sports hacks decided that Santi Cazorla has denied wanting to leave Arsenal for Real Madrid. The small matter of Isco’s imminent arrival at the Bernabeu would in no way scupper that deal, no. In any case, they have decided that Pellegrini has made a “last-ditch plea” for his former charge to rebuff the glamour of Madrid and let himself be seduced by the wet Tuesday night feel of Manchester.

Transfer dealings are rarely straightforward unless one of the parties is desperate to do the deal. And of course, the executives charged with handling any deals – theย A-Team – are working on more than one at a time. At least you hope they are. Certainly there are any number of players looking to move on from the club still, who need help finding new homes. One is Johan Djourou, who is faced with a choose between Hannover, Hamburg or Humbug. Complete that deal, Ashley Williams can come in. By jove, I think I’m getting the hang of this transfer malarkey.

A popular choice for the A-Team is Marouane Fellaini. The soon-to-be-ex-Everton midfielder would cost ยฃ22m if reports are to be believed so why Arsenal would be surprised by wage demands that are comparable to Walcott and Higuain, is beyond me. Thankfully staff at The Heil are on hand to explain how the size of the deal over the course of the contract has brought on a bout of headaches in the Highbury House finance department. They were calmed no doubt by Arsรจne reverting to type with unknown French full back Benjamin Mendy. Someone will be able to find the YouTube compilation to turn us all into experts on the youngster, won’t they.

That’s it for today, your transfer goulash served in one tasty dish.

’til Tomorrow.

126 thoughts on “Medical For Higuain…At Some Point; Fellaini To Arrive…Some Time & More Gossip

  1. Higuain by Friday ๐Ÿ™‚ Saturday the midfield is sorted and then we can find something else to talk about until July 14th ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. So that’s your wife Miami. She is pretty….

    ….not as pretty as my wife though!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. @Dukey

    Aye mate, she is ๐Ÿ™‚

    I have no doubt that your better half is a stunner, ugly blokes attract beautiful woman ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. @GA

    They were after Cavani, until the price became prohibitive. It is not a stretch to think they could turn their attention to Higuain.

  5. Miami – I know. Hopefully we will wrap this up quickly. We will kick ourselves if we lose a player who is almost in the bag through dithering.

  6. Looks like Pipita is in the bag. Be interesting to see where the two pricey Uruguayans end up.

  7. Tevez expected to be going for 10/12m!

    This seems “cheap”; although, according to the beep, once transfer fee and unpaid wages & bonuses are factored in, Citeh will potentially recoup closer to 27m by selling now, as oppose to keeping him until the end of his contract.

    Further to some of the discussion above, does anyone know whether this deal has reached a very advanced stage seemingly out of nowhere?

    No doubt it’s just escaped my attention due to my blinkered devotion to concerning myself with Arsenal matters.

  8. Higuin deal said to be announced in the next 24-48 hours.

    Cavani might end up at Madrid with Isco and Suarez to? . Either way Higuin is coming!

  9. I think it would be great if we can wrap this up quickly because only one of these ultra rich clubs can get Cavani and Lewandowski seems set on Bayern should he even be allowed a move at all. Luckily he is playing at the Confed Cup and Rafa only just got to Napoli, so things are moving slowly on that front and he is keeping his options open. But if one of PSG, Chelsea, City, RM feel that they aren’t likely to get him or lose out before we wrap up Higuain, we could find ourselves competing with one of them for GH and we know how that would work.

  10. I bet ManCity wouldn’t sell Tevez to a PL rival. The price reflects that and the controversy around him that might put off some other clubs.

    My worry is particularly City and Chelsea who might lose out on Cavani and not be able to get Suarez and Lewandowski who aren’t going to move within or to the PL. I’m surprised that Juventus seem to prefer Tevez to Suarez.

  11. Mean Lean:

    I honestly hope you are right.

    zdzis:

    I certainly admit to rushing through things sometimes so if i missed your point I am sorry.

    Miami:

    “I tend to believe that Arsenalโ€™s interests are more paramount than the players.”

    I agree that the club comes before the individual player. Remember that you were the one who made this comment the next time you complain that we are blocking academy players by adding someone with experience to fill a roster slot. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I honestly don’t feel strongly about sending Miquel on loan. IMO the ideal situation would be to send him out and get someone who can be a reliable 4th choice CB for a year or 2 while he matures. I think that situation is a win win for the player and the club. If we can’t find an outside 4th choice CB at a realistic price then we keep Miquel and hope that he can gain experience by osmosis while sitting in the stands in civilian clothes on game days. We also keep fingers crossed that we don’t have an injury crisis at CB.

  12. Right, don’t shoot the messenger, because I’m merely going by a tweet I’ve just read, but rumour has it that Sp*rs, due to their Uefa coefficient, could replace Fenerbache, who have just been banned from Europe, in the CL qualifiers!

    If someone could quash this rumour it would be greatly appreciated.

  13. New to replying here guys
    @C
    which source have you got for the Higuain deal? – I can’t help feel that we will get gazumped to someone like Man city now that Tevez has gone

  14. @Bill

    To me, blocking a player is when you send him out on loan and buy a 4th choice backup that may never need to be used ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. MGK – I would not read anything into anything you would see on Twitter mate. The place is full of retards.

  16. @MGK

    If they replace Fenerbache, it’ll be for another Turkish team not another else. Like in 2011, where Fenerbache were replaced with Trabzonspor. No back door for the Spuds.

  17. Forgive me for no eating the plate clean. I hate goulash…..ewwwwww!
    Lol predictive text thinks ewwwww is Newsweek……irony is not lost….

  18. Stop playing around and buy fellani ,we have never replace viera and go and get ashley williams.

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